Should I be thankful or get hurt?

I remember 10 months ago, when I carried my father to the bathroom because he cannot stand on his own.  His knee is swelling.  I can tell that he is in pain.  And seeing him like that makes me sad.  Since my brothers and sister are working, I am the one who will attend the father.  But the siblings do help me at night.  I can’t forget the back pain I had, after carrying my father.  It was never in my dream that I can carry my father to the bathroom.  But I did able to carry him using the chair.  The memory is still fresh in my mind, when the father told me that he is thankful that I am plus size because if not I won’t be able to carry him.  Though there are possibilities since the father is very sickly as he getting old, I so wish that experienced won’t occur again.

 My fear comes back because the father now is sick again.  He cannot walk and stand on his own.  I have to assist him to get up and eat.  My goodness, the father is getting heavier.  I wish the brother is here to help me, because I am having some hard time carrying the father because my back is aching.  Guess the father is too heavy for me.  Once again, the father is thankful of my plus size.  I do not know if I should be thankful for what the father said or get hurt. Haha! Funny but it is true, because I am doing my hardest to lose weight, but seems like no effect at all to my father.

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